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50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
Use, redistribute, print.
Click image and magnify for large version.
Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.
so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay
im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.
What scares me most is the fact that people, misinformed and ignorant people, will now try to enter the community/find play partners with the dangerous ideas of what BDSM is. They won’t respect a sub, they won’t listen.
And that can seriously hurt people. People can DIE.
All of this. Anyone who is thinking about experimenting with a BDSM relationship PLEASE do not use this book as a guide. It can be VERY dangerous if not done correctly and safely. Communication is a HUGE FUCKING PART of a BDSM sexual relationship and it is simply not catered to in this book. There are tons of fanfiction authors on here and on AO3 who do BDSM justice. They write about safe words, aftercare, consent, all of it. Go find some of those instead of using this as a guide.
People often mistakenly think of BDSM as an abusive situation because of the nature of scenes and this misrepresentation shit is why. REAL BDSM CONSISTS OF COMMUNICATION, TRUST, AND RESPECT. They aren’t exaggerating when they say people can DIE because shit like this is their only resource. Improper restraints of any sort, play hand cuffs ropes - anything, can cut off blood flow to limbs. A Dom is supposed to know how to properly follow safety measures and they listen to their Subs and adjust things if the Sub has any complaints. Keys and safety scissors should always be nearby in the case of restraints and knots or cuffs should be at least loosened if the Sub complains of numbness or tingling in their hands or feet. Some people like play like ‘forced sex’ play or ‘abandonment’ play, but it’s important to understand that these people are not ACTUALLY FORCED OR ABANDONED. If a safe word is used, PLAY STOPS.
Please PLEASE understand that BDSM does not equal abuse and abuse is NOT BDSM. DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN PLAY WITH A DOM WHO DOES NOT LISTEN TO YOU, CARE FOR YOU, OR RESPECT YOU.
(via sio-pao-pao)Source: protest-resources
- 1 day ago
personal significance mixed with chronological
Stacked for space, genre, alphabetical by author, special shelf for personal meaning. I don’t fuck around with my book organization.
Mine are sorted by theme; there’s a shelf for my collection of old books, a shelf for my massive collection of Holmesiana, a shelf for comics, a shelf for my Garth Nix (of which I have a great many), a (section of) a shelf for Tolkien etc. Within those sections things are just put wherever with the exception of the Holmesiana, which is chronological.
The manga collection, however, IS sorted alphabetically by title, as is the DVD collection.
I start by sorting by height. I generally sort reference from fiction. Then each series is in the proper order for the series.
Whenever my DVD and Game library is sorted I sort DVDs alphabetically and Games by console and then alphabetically within that, with the exception of a series of games which are always together and in order even if the naming scheme is weird (thought it normally isn’t). And game series where I have games in the series on multiple consoles (like Silent Hill Shattered Memories for the Wii as opposed to the rest on Playstation 2/3.) are the bane of my existence much like books of different height.
(via prince-of-spades)Source: huffpostbooks
- 1 day ago
However loving his parents may have seemed, he [Simon] knew that, scratch the surface, and they’d scream and run away. And here he’s confronted with a guy who is just everyting he thinks is wrong about a person, who comes back for him when the chips are down because he’s on his crew. To me, that’s a real parent, and that is an extremely beautiful thing to get to, and I think it’s very real… But the most important thing about ‘Safe’ was that relationship.
—Joss Whedon, Firefly: The Official Companion, Volume One
fuck you, Joss….
(via finnickfoxes)Source: kaywinnetleetam
- 1 day ago
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Vampire doctors that can smell if you have a blood disease.
Werewolf therapy animals for sick kids.
Nature sprite and nymph nurses that always make sure people have pretty flowers to brighten up their white rooms.
Fauns that go around and sing and dance for patients so that they smile.
Nice monster hospitals would be amazing
(via finnickfoxes)Source: somethingpointy